What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
