So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
