I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I sprained my soul last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
