I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
