I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
