bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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