It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
