Midget sex pt 2 tonight
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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