Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
