well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
