Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
