You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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