I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
