You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
