maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How naked do you want me to be?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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