I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there was a trapeze. enough said
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
