what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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