I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It was confusing and full of hummus
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
