dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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