walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Less talking, more tequila
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
pray to the hookup gods
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
