didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
