Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
