they need to just BURY HIM!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
