And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
