Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I had to cum in my sink.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
