You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
