Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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