In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
