well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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