I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
