so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Randomize
