i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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