You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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