We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
