I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
