There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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