Small penises have feelings too.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
