ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
