She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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