I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize