She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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