Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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