Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
