me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
