The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
