I wanna passion pit in your ass
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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