This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
