No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
