Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
