ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
