my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
