The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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