this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
