Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
