My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
