it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
