When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
