Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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