I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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