My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
