I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
