fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
