i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
