Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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